the purge

. . . . in which the queen-mum attempts to poison her offspring.



The queen-mum and her consort have recently returned from their annual world cruise. As is their wont, they return with little treats from the local markets. Spices, condiments and coffees are popular acquisitions and this trip was no exception.

The bottles of Madeira were broken by their bearers (so the entire travel party smelled strongly of the inside of a tavern when they emerged to be picked up), but the seeds and coffee packets survived, as did the black T-shirt with "Barcelona" spelled out in rhinestones. We opened the coffee today.

OK - the king opened the coffee. He's the one entrusted with the secret greenwood coffee recipe! It's a blend, and usually involves a scoop or two of 'foreign' coffee, for colour and flavor.

As he reported: strange colour. . . . Acrid odor.




Flavor? Ah. . . . well. . . .


"Is this coffee?!!"


No ingredients listed.



"Hmmmm. There's a picture of some sort of grain on the front. It says Delta Cafes, but why would you illustrate coffee with a picture of grain?"

"I thought it was feathers. . . ."

" 'Cevada - Torrada Moida'. . . . What if that's not the brand name?! Wonder what Cevada means?"

As a word, Cevada is not exactly intuitive. Coffee is coffee, kaffee, cafe; pasta is pasta; and wine is wein, vin, vino. . . . but Cevada? I typed it into a Google search and hit "translate this page".

"Great. We're drinking roasted barley, known for it's purgative and laxative qualities. . . ."

That queen-mum!

Wonder who else got "coffee" from the world cruise? Should we tell them, do you think? [grin]

I guess you could put it on top of your cereal - because it sure ruins a good cuppa coffee!

Note the universal "throw this out" symbol next to the recycle one. . . .

Yep. I'm thinking compost.

We'll be roasting her for years over this one. . . . It's almost as good as the basil/pepper mix-up! Live and learn. This was fun. Thanks, Maman. I love you!